Why I love John Cusak

Came across "Better Off Dead" on ABC Family Channel. I love love love John Cusak movies. "One Crazy Summer" is my favorite. Anyways...made me think of a few lines from one of his most recent movies, called "Martian Child". He says:

"I don't want to bring another kid into this world. But how do you argue against loving one that's already here?"

“It doesn’t matter where you come from. As long as you discover, where you belong.”

Wish I had a doodle

Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!

COOOOOLD

Woke up this morning to no water. Pump had froze. Finally around 2 we got water back, and thawed out. :-) Thanks, MVD for helping out!

Butterflies are back at Meijer Gardens!

I love going to see the butterflies at Meijer Gardens. I hope I can get the kids down there. :-)

It's a ladybug kinda day here....

Ok...so my blog title is Ladybugs and The Red Thread....Just wanted to post some great little pictures of laybugs. Dawn, what's to be said for the first picture...the one that says "Believe"? Hmmm...

I can make you thin...

How stupid is that? TLC (The Learning Channel) has a new show...some dude is going to help people lose weight. Shit. No one can DO IT FOR YOU. You have to want it, be committed and stick with it. Yeah. It's hard. It down right sucks sometimes. (Oh, I think I'm qualified to comment on this topic, btw.) I've never said I'm on a diet. Christ on a cracker, if you look at it that way, you'll be on a DIET TIL YOU DIE. I made a life style change. No snacks, No soda, More exercise. Now, I snack on ocassion, I drink sodas from time to time. You have to, to keep your sanity. But, for me...I had to do something radical. Just as an FYI, for those that are keeping track...I haven't lost anything since the last time I posted about my weight. LOL! Winter blahs and being sick has kept my sprirts low. I'm still upbeat and thrilled to be where I am now though. :-)

Off my soapbox.....

My apologies

To all my friends with blogs...I've been slacking lately. I haven't been checking in and I'm so sorry. Most of you are moms, so you know what I mean when I say I've been busy. Not like busy saving the world, but just trying to get life to slow down a bit. Dawn, I'm thrilled that everything came out with the tests. I prayed many nights because you and Tonni both have been my saviors and I couldn't bare to stand the thought of you being sick. Tonni, you lady friend, I think about you and pray every day for as well. You now know my secret and didn't run. Some of my "real" friend did run. I love you like a sister and don't think for a minute I don't mean that.

Your slacker friend....

Melissa :-)

(who spent nearly 40 minutes looking for images for this post! LOL! Make sure Safe Search is on...ehhh...best friend apparently means something else in the adult movie industry!)

Anna

I can't sleep. Not sure why. Still riding the waves of this past week, I suppose. New Orleans and getting the Award are fresh and in my thoughts every few minutes. I finished reading My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. The main character is a girl named Anna. Two of the supporting characters are named Campbell (Cam) and Julia. Odd, isn't it? I found it to be outright spooky. I usually only read when traveling (ie on the plane or at my hotel) and before I go to bed. I look forward to that time of being all snuggled in with a good book. Took me 8 months to finish the last Harry Potter because I didn't want the series to end. Anyways...back to the latest book.

I knew when I went to bed tonight that it would be the night I finished My Sister's Keeper. I hate ending a book to be honest. I dunno what it is, but I like getting wrapped up in the lives of the people I'm reading about. Call it an escape from my reality. I knew that someone was dying at the end of this book. Christ, do I hate that. Seriously. Dying isn't my thing. Well, I'll spoil it for you (because if I don't, I can't get on with the rest of this entry!). Anna dies. (Not my Anna, the Anna in the book!!) I was devastated. Yeah. I was choked up. Losing a character that you have connected with tears you up.

Here's the ironic part and why I said I had to spoil it. Today, March 3rd, is my Anna's 8th birthday. Eight years ago today, I went into labor and 14 hours later gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl. (Whom I thought was for sure a boy!) I don't do pregnancy well. In fact, I hate it. Some women get that glow, the nails and hair. I get sick 24/7 for 9 months. It's like perpetual PMS. I was a raving lunatic. Emotionally, I thought I was going to lose it. I'm sure that Wayne felt that way too. We nearly got divorced because I was so bad. Sure sure, you say. But look at the baby girl you got in the end. HA! I reply. Pregnancy is not for the faint of heart. It can be the best and worst of times. Something that I have no desire to do again for no amount of love.

She was born at 8:01pm. Full head of black hair (like Cam and me when we were born). She weighted 8lbs 5oz and was 20 inches long. She would be named Anna Elizabeth. Anna after my great-grandmother Anna May McKenzie and Elizabeth after Wayne's grandma Wagner (she was Emma Elizabeth). Yes, I counted all 10 fingers and toes. She screamed like a banshee on fire if I recall. Her ears were bent over, like someone had folded them before she came out. Interesting sign if you ask me...a sign, you ask? Yes. A sign. Who would have foreseen that in less than 24 hours after being born, we would find out that Anna held a secret.

Some secrets are meant to be kept forever. Like the one about your best friend having a crush on the geeky computer nerd. Some secrets can't be kept. Like the one Anna had. In the summer of 1998, our local hospital started the Newborn Hearing Screens. Babies that were at "high risk" would have their hearing tested. Well, sometime later, they changed that to ALL babies would be tested. Anna was tested sometime during her first 24 hours. Carol (an OB nurse) came into to tell me the results. Anna had failed the screen. They would be testing again, before we went home. Usually it's fluid or vernix, but most babies past. Anna wasn't like most babies. She failed again and again.

Not for one second did I ever look at her as less than what she was. My daughter. The baby that Wayne and I had dreamed about for 9 months. Here she was. Cute. Pink. Smelling like that sweet baby smell. I remember laying in my hospital bed, just looking at her and dreaming about her first date, the senior Prom, her wedding and the children she will have. How could anything change the course we had choosen? How could anything take us down a different path? How could hearing loss alter the life of the most perfect baby?

The answer: IT HASN'T

Hearing loss hasn't changed Anna. It's part of who she's always been. It doesn't define her, but it is part of what makes her Anna. I'm sure as she grows we will have bigger struggles, but for now, we're celebrating 8 years of pure joy and a life that shines brighter each day. I look at Anna and see a very determined and spirited kid who loves life, loves dressing up and being a glam rock star. She loves to play the guitar and piano, she loves to write songs and wear dangling earrings. She's everything that I could have hoped for.

Happy Birthday, Anna. Momma loves you more than you'll ever know.

The Award

This is me and Lois. She was one of the people that nominated me!

This is while Marquita gave my background.

Me and Juju during the dinner!!

Here's an up close look (fingerprints and all) of my award.



What can I say? I'm still reeling from being nominated for this crazy thing, and now I have the award sitting on my tv. LOL! The CEC reception was very nice. Wayne tried to get some pictures of the Pantalind Ballroom, but I'm not sure they turned out the greatest. Anyways, we had a little buffet before we sat in listening to the ceremony. The CEC (council for exceptional children) gives out "Yes! I can" awards to children that have disabilities that have exhibited talents or promoted the better being of others. I was really impressed at what those kids did! I would have rather been there with Anna getting the award than me. Anyways...once it was my turn, I got to go up to the podium and listen to a lady tell everyone about the things I'm involved in. Quite a list when you read them all off! Even some that I had forgotten about. LOL! So, it's my turn to speak. No, I wasn't nervous. I really really really like public speaking, and getting up to talk about your family is so easy. :-) We had a nice time and it's one that I won't forget any time soon.

Where to start?

The BED...count 'em....10 PILLOWS!! A record!!

View from my hotel room

View of Bourbon Street from my room

Another view out of my room (towards the river)

Angie...riding the bull that I was too chicken (or was that drunk) to ride!

From the balcony where we had lunch on Monday...corner of Canal and Bourbon streets

The Oceana Grill
The Famous Door
My feet on the right...and Joe's on the left. :-)

Some our group dancing...

Unknown EHDI lady, Janet (who I presented with) and Leanne
Mark...the closing plenary and a small harem of women! LOL!

Jazz dog
I loved this sign..and the swining legs to the left of it.

I really struggled where to start this post. Should I start with the awards reception from last night or should I back track to New Orleans. New Orleans won.

I left Grand Rapids on Sunday morning. When I was waiting at the gate, I realized that one of our EHDI program people was on my flights. Pretty cool. We were 20 minutes late taking off and I was a bit worried as we only had 40 minutes between flights once we arrived in Memphis. Memphis airport is nothing to write home about. Typical aging gates. I did however make it to the plane on time. I sat next to the Chapter Champion from Indiana (Hi Betsy!) and we had a nice time talking and shared a cab to the hotel. When we arrived, the hotel was in the process of being emptied by hundreds of college students. Most rooms weren't ready. Lucky for me Betsy let me freshen up in her room (that was ready!) and I manage to find Janet and Stephanie for lunch and a nice walk around New Orleans. We went to Cafe De Monde for beignets and lattes. It was just beautiful outside. Sunny, nice little breeze...quite a change from the doom and gloom snow of MI. After our walk and shopping, we headed back to the hotel. Janet and Stephanie had meetings and I took a nap. I was soooo tired.

Janet and I met before her 2nd meeting to set up the Hands and Voices booth. I met a super coolio guy from IL named Joe. Joe is a CODA (children of deaf adults). He was really fun and we ended up hanging out on Monday night. He and I have totally different views on hearing loss (we agree on everything, but he has the perspective of Anna's future kids) and it was great to share stories. Sunday night was filled with dinner at a place called Coop's Place and I had a wonderful meal called Pasta Opelousas (Shrimp, tasso, boneless chicken, Creole green beans, & shiitake mushrooms sauteed in a garlicky alfredo base, lightened with wine. Tasso being like a ham.) Funny sidebar...Opelousas is a city where Cal-Chlor has a plant, like the one that Wayne works at. Was the reason I ordered that pasta!! ;-)


After Coop's we walked to The Famous Door for dancing. Dancing. Anyone who knows me in a previous life (aka before kids) knows that I love to dance. Used to spend every Friday night dancing at a place called Tiki. (Long story...but I met Wayne there and a few ex's too!) Anyways...The Famous Door had live bands jamming to classic 70's/80's tunes. Not really my style, but I enjoyed being with all the ladies none the less. After awhile it got too loud and John (who works for the CDC and the sweetest guy alive!) walked me back to the hotel. Once we got back we ran into Darryl who wanted to check out the place that had bull riding (you know, the mechanical kind) so John and I trek down the block there. Oh yeah...did I mention that I had 7 beers that night? LOL! I never ever drink. No I didn't ride the bull. But had a great time watching others. John escorted me back to my room around 2:00am (central time, which is 3am EST!). I had to be up by 7:00, so I was pooped.


The conference was amazing. I totally get to "geek out" with all the other parents and professionals. There's nothing like talking decibels, cochleas, genetics, grief, hearing aids, technology, and all that other good stuff with people who know what it means. (Right, Kate?!) I love all of that. Makes me feel like my family is more normal. I met some great parents and hope to keep in contact with them. Like I said, after spending time with other parents, you realize that you are not alone that we all struggle. One of the things that I mentioned to Janet was that I feel like when I'm at home, I have to wear my Super Mom cape when I'm secretly falling apart on the inside. She totally validated how I felt and that it's ok to have those days where things just fall apart. It's part of learning. Our presentation went well and we had lots of people in it. (That always worries me for some reason.) The guy that was the closing speaker, sat in! I was so honored. Mark was so cool and I'm glad I listened to his presentation.



Monday night was a little more...SOBER. LOL! I had one beer. We had another great dinner at a place called Oceana Grill. I had Jambalaya. Not as good as I remember my Aunt Norma's but still not a bad dinner. At least I was back in bed before midnight. :-)

Tuesday night was nice. COLD. But nice. Elizabeth, Chris, Sherry and I went for a walk and did a bit of shopping for our kids/friends. I got cold too quick and went back to the room. I was tired and needed to pack. I got home Wednesday without a hitch. Kids were glad to see me as was Wayne. I was happy to see them as well. Never know how much you miss someone until you're apart from them.


EHDI 2009 is in Dallas, TX. Anna is really excited. She's the poster child (in my opinion) as to how well the system can work. EHDI has a 1, 3, 6 timeline. Identify by 1 month, amplification by 3 months and early intervention by 6 months. We were pretty close to that. I look back and think I worried for nothing, but I believe that that worry pushed me into making sure that Anna got everything she needed. Everyday that she comes home from school with good grades or just has a good day with anything related to hearing or speech, I feel so LUCKY and GRATEFUL. Somewhere along the ways, people decided that we needed to test babies hearing. Had Anna not been tested at birth, we would have never known about her hearing until she was much older. That changes the whole game. Using her hearing aids are so much a part of her, that she doesn't see them as separate from her. It's like having blue eyes or brown hair. Anna is who she is and I can't imagine her any other way. She's continues to surprise me and challenge my views on what people that are hard of hearing can or can't do. I love her so very much.

Back

Tired. Very tired. I'm back from New Orleans. Had a wonderful time. 2009 EHDI is in Dallas! Yeehaw! Saddle up and ride 'em out. Anna is planning on going. I'm planning on making a small documentary on her. Hopefully to present again. She's excited. Likes talking about her hearing and testing babies' hearing. It's too cool.

Anyways, tomorrow I will post pictures and write more. Hopefully. Tomorrow is when I get my Exceptional Parent Award. YAY! Should have photos of that as well.

My dreamworld awaits....

EHDI 2008/New Orleans...so far

First let me say that Im super bummed that I didn't remember to bring the adapter for my camera for pictures. Everyone will have to wait till I get home to see how...how...New Orleans is...is...New Orleans. Sin City. The Big Easy.

My flights from Grand Rapids and Memphis went off a hitch. Things were good, no issues. YAY! I met some nice people on the plane. Arrived in New Orleans around 11:00 am. Got to the hotel and there were no rooms ready. Eh...bummer. So I bunked my stuff with a nice conference lady and met Janet and Stephanie for lunch. Well, lunch wasn't really lunch. We went to Cafe DuMonde and had coffee and beignets. Another YAY! I was excited. The walk was great. Bourbon Street is...eh...not my style at all. I'm not into nude dancers, bars or junk stores selling every kind of cheesy t-shirt and beads you could imagine. I'm failing to see the draw to the area.

The conference has been exceptional. As usual. I love hearing all the presenters and meeting new people. Especially other parents. Tomorrow will be another great day. I'll write more tomorrow or later tonight, I need a nap. ;-)

M C C--GO BLUE! Cheerleading 101

Anna had her cheerleading night last night and here are a few pictures and a short clip of her performance. She had a really great time and asked to do it again.

Crap...forgot that Dawn tagged me!

So, somehow I zoned out about being tagged. Well, there are my 7 random/weird things about me.

1. I can't swim. Well, not anything beyond being able to doggie paddle. I couldn't save one of the kids if they were drowning. Well, maybe I could, but, I don't know.

2. I really like to eat cake batter/pancake mix/raw cookie dough. Anna has taken that habit up too. Wayne think's it's odd, it's a norm in my family though.

3. My 3 favorite movies (in no particular order) are: A Few Good Men, Fargo and Jaws.

4. I have 4 sisters, all of which are half sisters. I'm the oldest of all of them.

5. All of the girls in our family have names that end in "A". Melissa, Anna, Julia, Theresa (my sis), Samantha (my sis), Carla (cousin) and Sarah (cousin, yeah I know...it's a H, but sounds like an A). My other 2 sisters are Alicia and Angela, believe it or not. I've only met them a handful of times and I thought it was weird.

6. I worked at McDonald's for 6.5 years. I also went to BOC (a version of Burger University) to become a manager. I was a manager for 2 years before I quit to have Cameron. I actually really liked being a manager, it was a great job...but not when you have a small baby at home. EESH!

7. I collect shotglasses, books about China/China adoption/Asian history, and anything that is cobalt blue. My curio is FULL of BLUE STUFF!!!

A little gripe

Why is it that a 20oz Diet Coke is $1.29 and I can buy a 2 liter for less? Apparently, I'm paying for the refridgeration. Bastards!

The sun, my road rage, and an egg salad sandwich

1. The sun is out again. My friend Mik and I joke about laying out in the garage during icy/stormy weather. Today, is a garage day. It's sunny, high of 18 but you can feel warmth on your skin through the bitter bite of the wind.

2. Typically, when people are driving too slow or making poor judgements I get frustrated. Which usually makes me make bad judgements. LOL! Anyways, I was cruising home from the grocery store, only doing 50 in the freeway do to people going soooooooo sllllllllllloooooowwww. Well, in their defense, the passing lane was bad, so we were stacked up. But seeing the sun, listening to Eagle Eye Cherry, LIFE IS GOOD. No need to get cranky.

3. The egg salad sandwich was icing on the cake. Soooo...I had the sun out, no road rage, Eagle Eye Cherry on the tunes, the sandwich, and a Diet Coke. Does it get any better than that?

My personal Siberia continues....

Wayne informed me that we got another 9 inches of snow today. We were in an area that was called to get another 4-5 inches today. Jesus. Can it get any worse?

When I took Anna to cheerleading camp

I drove in the new front entrance for the high school. Imagine my surprise when I was reading the new scrolling sign. Which read something like: "Congratulations to MCC parent Melissa Wagner for winning the Michigan Council for Exceptional Children, Exceptional Parent Award. Thanks Melissa for all your hard work for MCC students!" I was shocked! Ok, so Scottville isn't a huge town, but still cool non the less. :-) Oh yeah, for those of you wondering why I say I live in Ludington...well, we do! Officially, we live in Riverton Township, which is in Ludington. However, it's Mason County Central school district which is in the town of Scottville. Make sense? ;-)

Ohhh...about cheerleading camp. Anna had a little trouble in the beginning. I think it was too loud and she struggled with all the yelling and cheering. But once she made quick friends with the one girl who was leading her group, she did great. The girls that attended the camp get to go to the boys varsity basketball game on Tuesday and perform their cheers. I will have pictures! GO SPARTANS!

It does EXSIST! The Sun.

This last picture didn't turn out as I hoped. The sun was hitting the steeple in the most magificiant way. I ran out the end of the driveway to catch it and the sun disappeared. I was really bummed. :-(