Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Interesting Comment

I'm going to use this comment as a chance to clarify what this person seems to think of me. If you are a regular reader here and don't look at the comments left by others, this is what I got earlier today:

"You have these wonderful want them to be treated as equals. So why in heavens name do you insist on pointing out their imperfections as often as possible? I am sure they want to feel "normal" just as much as everyone else. How would you feel if someone always spoke about your disadvantages? It almost seems like you are trying to make yourself seem better because you are able to take care of "disabled" children but it seems like you are using them to bring attention to yourself."

Let me start by thanking you for reading my blog. Apparently, you have found the link to our family story and found it interesting. But, seeing how you really don't know my family or our WHOLE story, I don't think you are too qualified to comment. :-) Sorry if that upsets you. However, please feel free NOT to read about our family.

Why do I point out my kids imperfections? I don't. I've lived with hearing loss 24/7 since Anna was born 7 years ago. Makes me bit of an expert. You may not like how I use Anna's hearing loss or Julia's atresia and microtia to promote EDUCATION about special needs adoption and the over all treatment of kids with special needs. My kids are every bit NORMAL. But what the hell is normal to you? Is it a perfectly formed body?? Is it having hearing like most people? Is it being thin? Define normal for me.

Oh and my disadvantages? I'm about 60lbs overweight, I have to wear glasses/contacts and I think I have adult ADD. I have tons of issues and I'm sure I could write a other blog about those, I doubt that would hold your attention.

About making myself seem better for parenting "DISABLED" kids...Um, ask God about that one. He gave us Anna. She was the catalyst for being interested in special needs. Am I better because I choose a child in China that was orphaned because she has a congenital birth defect? Nah, there are lots of us out there. Do I take the high road sometimes, yes. Yes I do. Because I think there are some very large gaps in the traditional program vs. waiting child program. Wait, this is MY BLOG. I can post what I want about my feelings and my views. Imagine that! I've been involved in China adoption issues for 2 years. I've learned a lot. I think there are some families that feel like they got the shaft when it comes to infertility. I have been witness to some very vile conversations about how it's not fair that some couples can have 10 kids and other can't have any. I've had people question my desire to adopt when I could have had more biological kids.

Bringing attention to myself? ever go grocery shopping with 3 kids? Ha! Talk about loud and attention drawing. Again, this is my blog. If I want to draw attention to myself, I CAN! LOL! Besides, what do you care? I mean, really...But I can talk about myself if you really want to know more. Let's see. I'm the president of our Parent Advisory Committee, I've spoke at the National EHDI conference. Wayne and I helped the state set the guidelines for Michigan's Universal Newborn Hearing Screens. I volunteer 2-3 days a week in Anna's classroom. I've did presentations for the CEC. I like reading, writing, and watching sports. Anything else that might be attention drawing?

I think you could say the point of my blog is exploitation. I started it so friends and family could follow our journey to China to bring Julia home. Well, if I were having a baby, would people want to read about my doctor appointments? Hardly. It's more interesting because we are adopting from China. Am I pointing out Julia ethnicity? Yep. And that makes her DIFFERENT. No matter what we write about, separates us from others. No 2 adoption stories or journey's are the same. Do you take issue with me talking about Julia's nationality?

So in conclusion, I hope I have enlightened you once again. My kids are individuals. I treat them all differently. Just last week, Anna and I were looking at the pictures of the day she was born. There's one where she can't be more than 5 minutes old, she's laying on the scale still covered in blood and she asked where her hearing aids were. She knows she's different. Life for her is NOT NORMAL by the typical standards. She has to wear hearing aids. She can't hear me when I talk to her without them. I want my kids to beware of the world around them. All 3 kids are very sensitive to others that are different. My kids don't stare at people who are missing limbs or who have special needs. I've taught them that we are all different, all special in own way. I remember a bumber sticker I saw in high school...WHY BE NORMAL?? Besides, normal is boring. :-)

BTW...I'd love to see your blog so I can critique your family.

~Melissa~ (The attention grabbing mom from hell.)

1 comment:

mom of 3 so far said...


This is YOUR family, and YOUR blog, the person who left that nasty comment needs to get a life instead of judging how you live yours!!! Since they signed that comment as "a parent who is going through the same" It is THEIR child I worry about because it is very obvious that they are ashamed of their child and his/her condition and think everyone should hide any differences that they might have! How sad!!!